Recovering from a Toxic Work Relationship IS (Just Like) Healing from a Bad Relationship
Recovering from a toxic workplace isn’t just about switching jobs. It’s about navigating trauma, and that takes time, patience, and real support. Workplace toxicity (whether bullies, emotional manipulation, or constant stress) affects mental health in ways similar to abusive personal relationships.
Here’s what research shows:
Toxic environments are strongly linked to symptoms such as depression, insomnia, anxiety, and emotional distress. Workers also experience long-term burnout and rumination. Verywell Mind
Victims of workplace bullying face serious psychological harm. In some cases, up to 10% experience post-traumatic stress disorder, similar to victims of child abuse. Wikipedia
Poor mental health, including depression and anxiety, leads to lost productivity and chronic workplace disengagement—both at work and mentally. PMC
Especially for younger workers, toxic workplace culture is the top reason people resign—ten times more impactful than compensation alone. Harvard Business Review
Your Reactions Are Valid
If your heart races during meetings, if you're anxious about emails, or if authority still triggers you, that’s not weakness. It’s a natural response to trauma. You weren’t broken. You were responding to danger.
Healing requires psychological safety, just like when healing from a toxic personal relationship. You deserve the same patience, nurturing, and gentle reconnection with yourself.
Healing Takes Support: Don’t Go It Alone
Here’s what real recovery looks like:
Distance and recovery – Create safe spaces where your nervous system can calm down. Moments where bad memories aren’t dangling in front of you.
Validation – Talk to a friend, mentor, therapist, or someone who just gets it. You need empathetic listening, not "just move on" platitudes.
Positive structure – Clear boundaries, daily habits, and self-care rituals help rebuild confidence and control.
Time and grace – There’s no deadline on healing. Don’t force it. Instead, nurture it with kindness and realistic expectations.
You deserve more than just surviving. You deserve to work in environments that nourish you, not drain you. Healing may not be fast, but it’s possible with the right support.
xo from someone who’s been there <3
-Joanna
